Letter to a new member

Recently, my good friend Teneal shared with me the story of a young woman in her ward who had just joined our church, with little support from her parents. She asked me if I might have some words of wisdom for her, and the following is the text of the letter I sent.

As I reflected on my 15 years as a member of the church, I was overcome with the impact it has made on my life and the blessings I have received - all flowing from my decision, as a 19 year old girl, to be baptized. And so I share my advice, for what it's worth, with all of you.

*****

Dear April,

My dear friend Teneal shared a little bit of your story with me, and I felt compelled to write you a few words of congratulations and encouragement as you begin your journey as a member of the church.

So, let me begin with congratulations! The decision to be baptized can be a tough one, especially if your family isn't supportive of the choice. I joined the church when I was 19, after about a year of investigating and meeting with various sets of missionaries. At the time, my parents were terribly upset with my decision to join the church. It was a very difficult time for me (and for us, as a family). Ultimately, though, I followed Moroni's counsel and prayed. The answer came so strongly that I knew what I had to do - I moved forward with my baptism and never looked back. It was probably the best decision of my life.

That was 15 years ago! I look at my life now, and the blessings that have overwhelmed me over the years, and I have no doubt that the Lord wanted me in His church. I have been blessed above anything I could ever have imagined. I was able to transfer to BYU and experience the church out there, surrounded by strong members. I had roomates who had served missions, and they inspired me to do the same. I served my mission in Spain after I graduated, and it was life-changing for me. Mine was a challenging mission, in that not too many people were very open to our teachings, but my experience there really forged my testimony. I worked hard, met wonderful people, and witnessed miracles all around me. I became truly convinced that God knows me and answers my prayers. It was wonderful!

My (now) husband and I met before our missions and served at the same time. We came home and were married in the temple about a year later. It was such a tough time - my parents were truly heartbroken that we were not being married in a venue where they could attend. I felt so guilty and awful for causing them pain, but at the same time I knew I couldn't make any other choice. Although it was difficult, our marriage in the temple was worth it. And now, 15 years later, my parents have mellowed so much. They adore my husband, they are generous and loving with our boys, and so thoughtful and kind to us. I could never have imagined, 15 years ago, that we could have the good relationship we have today. But God softens hearts and works miracles when we have the faith and patience He requires.

I don't know the exact situation with your family, but I think I can promise you this - if you stay strong in your faith and continue to be an example to your parents of all that is good in our church, over time they will come to respect you for the choices you've made and the good person you are. They will see the blessings that flow into your life, and it will soften them. Over the years, I think my parents realized the church hadn't changed me into some "weirdo" - that I was the same person I always had been, only perhaps a little better. They've seen that the fruits of my choices have been good, and so they are happy. When, on occasion, my dad tells me how proud he is of his kids, I am overwhelmed with God's grace and His ability to accomplish the seemingly impossible. He has worked a tender mercy in my life, without doubt.

I suppose, if I had any advice, it would be to obtain an unshakeable testimony of the Gospel. If you have that, you will always be able to hold tight to what you know is true and do what needs to be done, in spite of opposition. Do whatever you need to do - pray, study, attend the temple, surround yourself with good friends - all those things that will help you strengthen your personal testimony for life. When things seemed unbearably difficult for me, I always came back to my testimony. I knew, without a doubt, that the Book of Mormon was true. I had prayed and received an unmistakable witness of its truth. Once I knew that, I was never the same. That testimony has propelled me forward in my life, even when it seemed that everything else was conspiring against me. So strengthen your testimony. It will serve you well!

I wish you every blessing as you go forward. If I can ever be of service, please feel free to drop me a line.

God bless!

Jen