Introducing Holland Kay

Our little girl was born May 4th, at 2:29 p.m. via scheduled c-section. She weighed 7 pounds 9 ounces and was 20 inches long. My smallest baby! Holland is named after Jeffrey R. Holland, a dear friend of Brandon's family, and Brandon's father, whose middle name is Kay. Also, as an interesting side note, Brandon lived in Holland for a time when he was a baby - his dad completed a postdoc there.

I realize our princess is three weeks old now and I am just now getting around to recording the details of her arrival... and there is a reason for that. This time around, the c-section did not go quite as smoothly as planned. To be honest, I am just now getting to the point where I can discuss the surgery without crying! But because this blog is pretty much my journal, I want to record the details of the day. Bear with me!

The c-section was scheduled for 1:30 in the afternoon, which was nice, since we didn't have to rush to the hospital. We were able to get Mason and Danny off to school/preschool, and I even had time to drop brownies off at kindergarten for the teacher appreciation dessert bar! Brandon and I got to the hospital about 2 hours early, waited around awhile, and were eventually moved to a room to prepare for surgery.


A nurse started the IV, and hooked me up to monitors to watch the baby's heartbeat and my contractions. I was still having them fairly frequently, but it turns out they weren't doing much! The doctor checked me before the surgery, and I was still only about 1 cm. I don't know if I ever would have gone into labor on my own!

The nurse anesthetist came in to discuss options for anesthesia. We decided on a spinal/epidural combination, which he advised would provide the most complete block and give options for adjusting medication levels during the procedure. He also assured me he'd never had a complication in 10 years! Leave it to me to break his 10 year lucky streak...

At about 1:20 or so, I said goodbye to Brandon for a bit and walked off to the surgery suite. This was the part I was dreading. I hate the whole idea of getting an epidural, and I wished Brandon could have been there with me, but he had to wait outside until everything was ready. A wonderful nurse named Anne helped position me for the spinal/epi combo. I could tell after a few minutes that it wasn't going well. For one thing, it was taking way too long. For another, I felt like the medication was going in more on the left side. He agreed, and tried again. Still no luck. Then, he had to call in reinforcements. I remember looking behind me at him, and seeing blood all over his gloves. Oh man. Then an anesthesiologist arrived, and he tried as well. At some point, they gave up on the spinal/epi combo and decided to do just an epidural. This made me a bit nervous, as I knew it was not as complete of a block, but I just trusted that they knew what they were doing. Still, it was taking too long. I didn't realize how many times they had tried to get that epi in until I was home days later and saw the puncture holes in my back - at least 4 of them. Yikes. They worked on me for 30-40 minutes.

The two anesthesiology guys eventually got the epidural in, and I was positioned on the table for the surgery. I could still move my feet, which I thought was not a great sign, but they did not seem as concerned. Brandon was finally brought in, which calmed my nerves. My doctor, whom I love, came in and things got underway. Brandon held my hand, and I squeezed it tight!

Now to the unpleasant part. There's no other way to say this. While I felt only pressure on the left side of my body, on my right side I felt sharp pain. I told everyone I could feel it, and they tried everything to numb the right side so they could proceed with the c-section. They gave local injections (felt those), they shot more stuff down my epidural. No matter what, the right side just didn't get numb enough. I felt the doctor cutting me. Not at 100%, but I felt it nonetheless. And it wasn't just "pressure."

At some point, I ran out of words and just started crying. I remember the docs quickly deciding to give me propofol and put me under general anesthesia. They put a mask over my mouth and nose and in a matter of seconds I was out. I was intubated. I learned later that Brandon had to leave the room, too. He left a camera with a nurse and waited outside.

The next thing I knew, I woke up in the recovery room and learned that I'd had a baby! I remember everyone talking to me really loudly, trying to get me to wake up. The nurse told me later that I said something about being glad I wasn't in the Civil War, where operations were often carried out in the field without anesthesia. So random!

And then, the best part of the day - Brandon brought me our little Holland. I thought she was the most beautiful baby I'd ever seen. The nurse put her on my chest and I felt the most indescribable happiness. She was worth it all.


I am disappointed that I was not awake for her delivery and that Brandon wasn't there to see her come into the world. It was like giving birth in 1960! I'm grateful for the nurses, who took pictures for us. But in hindsight, if I knew then what I know now, I would have asked them to put me under from the outset. The 45 minutes we spent trying to get the spinal block to work and then starting the c-section with an incomplete block were terrible. Even now, it's hard for me to think about it.

The boys were and are thrilled with their little sister. Oh, you should have seen the look on Danny's face when he held her for the first time! They have both been absolutely adorable with her, and helpful to me. Holland is lucky to have two big brothers who adore her.



We're three weeks into it now with Holland, and still getting into the swing of things. We are blessed to have so many friends and family who have helped with dinners and watching the boys. I'm slowly recovering (a little slower than I'd like) from the c-section and getting back to our routine. But I'll be glad when school is out in a week and we don't have to be anywhere on time for awhile!

I am grateful for my wonderful doctor and for modern medicine! I'm grateful for Brandon, who has been my rock through all of this. I'm grateful we have our sweet Holland. She is a blessing I never thought we'd receive, which has made this experience especially sweet. Thank you, Heavenly Father, for our daughter.